thanks for the Mother’s Day gift
I’ll probably have it for a week
and think of you every time
it makes me stop and sniff
thanks for the Mother’s Day gift
there’s a good chance
I will stay in bed more now
and take a little extra time to sleep
thanks for the Mother’s Day gift
my nose is running red
I’m coughing up a storm now
this cold is just like you, miserable
I’ll creep away and hide
no one will miss me right now
there’s no mouths to feed
no arguments to settle
no complaints to hear out
no pandering that needs doing
the Void has moved on
to a fuller space
one that is not worn thin
or stripped bare of sympathy
and the only prayer I can muster
is that the Void will choose to stay
in that space away from me
I am selfish
I know
but for once
I want to be seen
as broken as I am
I want to be seen
as the one who needs
who hurts
who weeps
her pain looks greater
her failed choices
brought her here
to this place of sympathy
but just once I would like
for my sacrifice
and pain
to be discovered
and not held so silently
I am selfish
I know
but just once
I’d like my life
to be about me
if only I could slip out
silently through the window
softly like a wisp of cloud
to evaporate in the air
if only I could immerse
into the sparkling archway
of the sky’s dazzling embrace
Breathing in mystery and belonging
I was never made for this
earth becomes a prison here
and the sounds of traffic
are like bullet holes in my soul
I am part air, part dreams
and with eyes closed I will drift
to all the places my feet
could never find on their own
shallow kisses
and midnight wishes
gone with the wind
love is a vapor
caught by sea breezes
and held ransom
in her reefs
and all these shallow kisses
a record on repeat
set to spin till it hits a scratch
we’re thrown off again
they say knowing is half the battle
and that knowledge is power
but I’m convinced that ignorance is bliss
and a fool with a little
is still richer than a scholar with plenty
not tonight
or tomorrow
and expectations
and dreams dissolve
there will be a time for this
another time of happiness
another celebration
but not tonight
not tonight
wake me with snowflakes
brushing the panes
and the smell of pine smoke
hanging in the air
I wish to feel the strength
of winter’s fury
safely from the arms
of a quiet cabin’s warmth
steal me away into the woods
far from the reach
of the city’s constant call
or the roar of passing cars
textbook
the response I give
to you
because
the effort required
to make you understand
wearies me
I only let you so close
not because I’m afraid
but because you are desperate
to find a flaw
in my independence
I say things
that I don’t really mean
or that I only half mean
in order to stay you
away from my heart
away from my thoughts
away from me
jennalovestherain 