Freedom to Yawn

freedom is is a concept
that I’ll never fully grasp
Woven in with breaking out
and hope within one’s grasp
but freedom feel’s like falling
from one trap to the next
I’ve been released from danger
but it’s boredom here at best

Old at Heart

I think I’ve always been
old at heart
afraid to take risks
too scared to venture
out on my own

even since childhood
I have remained
determined to grow up
but all I’ve been doing
is growing old

age and fatigue
have staked their claim
on a face too young
to share these lines
with thieves of time

But I know that I glowed
perhaps once upon a time
there was radiance
in this face and in
the depths of my eyes

I found the fount of youth
and drank from its rain
but somewhere
in the fight to be and become
I left and lost forever
those sweet shores

all wrong

you’re sipping your tea
thinking of me
and I’m just here
trying to forget you

we were never right
and all wrong
in a hundred ways
on a hundred levels

but you’re still missing me
drinking your tea
and assuming I’ll come back
eventually

I just hope that someday
you’ll stop waiting

The Night

it seems I’m always awake
when the world is quiet
and the lonely has settled
like a fog around the stars

my eyes seek out solitude
looking for hidden grottos 
and abandon shores
to sit upon and ponder

why is the night so disdained
when in it, such beauty is revealed
celestial kaleidoscopes
placed for us to admire

I find the sand a welcome bed
and the waves a perfect lullaby
and in this lonely darkness
I’m embraced by my love, the night

Dusk Looks Lonely

I cover it
hiding behind
business
and feigned
cheerfulness

I will not let it
rule me
but it gnaws
just the same
at my ache

I am not alone
but tonight feels
like desperation
and unfulfilled want
and the yearning
still hurts

too much I ask
too much I desire
when life has given
just enough
to survive

I am alive
but barely living
and always lying
to cover
my empty eyes

perhaps someday
there will be
a someday
and I will give
as much as I get

and love at last

Lost

sometimes it’s the weight
of a hundred worries
that rests upon my chest
sometimes just a few
how does one breathe
when lost at sea
and there’s no guarantee
they’ll ever find you

Awaken

Awaken my soul, Oh Lord
Place in me a hunger
Yearning for Your words
Caught up in Your wonder
Awaken my soul, Oh Lord
Like the morning sun breaking
Gold against the mountains
Whose feet are never shaken

Awaken my soul, Oh Lord
Bring me out of this slumber
Let my eyes be transfixed
Caught up in Your wonder
Awaken my soul, Oh Lord
And let me no longer forget
The vastness of Your mercy
Or the depth of my past debt

Treasure

She sat and watched the sky
as ambers turned to azures
letting the time go by
in bits of lengths and measures
and as the stars filled her eyes
she wondered about her forever
the wind came and joined her sighs
as she held out hope for treasure

Blame

no more leaving it to chance
things must be what I make them
I’m strong enough to take the blame
for creating, for destroying
and for changing my direction

Afraid to Speak

it’s just terrifying
that the words on my lips
can serve to steady me
or tip me over the precipice
I don’t want to fall
pain is a scary thing
but worst of all is that
someone else will be hurting
do I close my mouth
tight lipped against this
or speak the formidable truth
that cannot be fought against
nobody wins in love and war
and I have always been losing
but I never dreamed it would come to this
the end by my own choosing