it’s never been about me
only self centered pleas
for attention in the form
of some kind of love
I never let myself fall
there was danger in the way
you begged me to stay
and share the loneliness
we flirted around the subject
we never spoke the words
that would have been a lie
for at least one of us
Please,
put those words away.
You never knew how to wield them
and you only serve to distort them.
Please,
stop pretending,
love is an action
and not a sting of pretty words.
Please,
allow me to drift away.
You never really wanted me
only the face that was attached.
I am the fool
to still be here
hung up
on the look
the gentle smile
around your eyes
I am the fool
to not cut you loose
and turn away
from that
which hurts me
but here I go again
I thought I knew
how to break this
but the only thing
I’ve broken is my heart
you don’t erase easily
would it be best
if I hid myself away
disappearing from
both the highs
and the sadness
I hope to slowly learn
how to live without
the sound of your voice
playing in my head
calling me back
into falling for you again
come and linger on my shoreline
let the tug of the ocean
draw your heartbeat free
and dip your toes in the waves
come believe in love again
on this California coastline
casting away the bitter taste
of broken hearts before
come drench your face in sunlight
golden as it melts the crests
of crashing, laughing waves
and let love take it’s shape
let the silence commence
it’s easier to pretend
words are only the conduit
of understanding
and wouldn’t we rather
keep our perceptions?
I refuse to push
and you will never pull
so we’ll stand here quiet
with the line slack
now and then glancing
across the gulf
and we’ll stay like this until
one of us breaks in weakness
and then we’ll begin
this whole process over again
only I might start to grow weary
of all our pointless song and dance
if I told you everything
all the deep dark pains
would you look at me
and still see me the same
if I opened up my soul
and told you all my fears
would you listen to me
hold me through the tears
if I put my mask down
and simply was myself
would I be enough for you
more than anyone else
I hold my breath
for fear of startling you
and losing you
to the wings of wind
too good to be true
doesn’t that define us?
but I can’t resist
and you’re here now
so I’ll hold my breath
and pray you stay
hoping that small talk
will keep you coming back
when you’re tired
of running from yourself
I’ll be standing
right where you left me
I’ll keep track
of your many heartbreaks
and remember the pain
that you try so hard to leave
when you’re tired
of running from loneliness
I’ll be waiting here
still stupidly in love with you
the hope dies
only to be born again
afresh tomorrow
dreaming
wishing
hoping
I see their eyes
and I can’t help feeling
that someday
I will love
and be loved
and happy
the hope dies
but not the dream
that you and I
will find a way
to converge
converse
and stay
jennalovestherain 